This morning I feel like sharing my thoughts with the married women especially those still having children and nursing children. Over the years iv come to discover that many marriages that later develop issues have the foundation of those issues laid when children started arriving. Children are a blessing but when not properly handled can silently, gradually but surely create a big gulf between a couple, turning them into two strangers living together in the same house which is often the situation of many homes after few years of marry.
So dear woman, here are some tips for you.
- Let’s start from pregnancy time. Sis, stop eating anything and everything that you see all in the name of cravings, millo, chocolate, pastries, drinks, you name it and it’s going down your gullet in spades and buckets, control yourself sis, you will bloat up like a balloon, much of the weight that we married women have today were gained during pregnancy. Apart from the danger of making your baby too fat to be delivered normally, you also will become fat and your tummy too will become like a mountain which will make it more difficult to return it to a flat shape after delivery, now imagine doing that for just 3 different pregnancies especially when it has been established that every subsequent pregnancy will be bigger than the previous one.
And it becomes worse because even after delivery, now mummy and mum in law are around to plump you up the more, they ply you with more millo and bournvita and plenty Amala, supposedly to help you lactate for your baby, everytime you breastfeed, you drink more beverage and pap laced with milk and millo, supposedly to strengthen you more to feed your baby. All of you have forgotten that they are simply fattening you up and and you are just getting rounder and rounder.
Dear sister, don’t make it difficult for your husband to desire you, it is totally unfair and unrealistic to keep expecting men to remain attracted to their wives all in the name of “unconditional love” when he can’t even recognize the woman he married again. The lady he married is a lovely, slim, curvy babe wth firm body, high tower breasts and regal carriage, but one or two yrs into marriage and the poor guy just can’t correlate who he married to who he is now living with and it’s all because you didn’t handle your child rearing and nursing period well. The painful thing is that the poor guy is not even expected to talk lest he be tagged uncaring or unaffectionate, Haba! Let’s help this guys a bit too o.
Yes, you will change over time I know, he too will change, but the change should not be a drastic transformation from princess to ogre, it should be a gradual transfiguration of a new wine to vintage wine, making you to taste sweeter and more matured to the taste bud of your husband. The Bible gives a man the right to drink from his wife, and it should be an enjoyable drink for him, don’t make it an ordeal. Control your eating habit when pregnant and while nursing. Apart from the fact that your eating habit is draining his bank account, it’s also taking his wife from him, biko, watch it o.
I’ll be continuing Wth these key points tomorrow and tomorrow I’ll be adressing the fact that your breasts BELONGS to your HUSBAND and not your BABY, you musnt allow your baby to take it over and turn it into a slippers.
Adetutu is a Relationship Coach and Teacher of God’s word, she writes from Ibadan, Oyo State